“Often, it’s protecting a version of you who once felt invisible.” 200% agree I used to see anger as my foe but slowly realized anger is the overprotective best friend that speaks out when you are too scared to say anything. Seeing anger as a positive thing to speak on what’s going on under the surface has been a wonderful perspective change for me.
I love the way you framed that anger as an overprotective best friend. That image really lands. It’s so true that anger often steps in when our softer feelings feel too risky to express. Learning to see it not as the enemy but as a messenger has been a huge shift for me too. It’s wild how much tenderness can sit beneath it once we actually listen.
“Perhaps that’s the most human part of all this: that our strongest feelings — rage, bitterness, spite — are often rooted in our deepest needs. The need to feel heard. To feel safe. To feel seen.”
This is SO, so true! It took me many, many years to realise the true source of my angry outbursts (often toxic) during adulthood was actually the grief I carried from a very traumatic childhood.
This article really resonated with me, thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing this. Grief has such a sneaky way of disguising itself as rage, especially when it’s been buried for years. I’m really moved that the piece resonated with you. Sending you a big hug as you keep doing the hard, healing work. 💛
“Helplessness is the sensation of being trapped in a situation you cannot control. It’s that sickening powerlessness you feel when you’ve said everything and been ignored, when your efforts go unrewarded, when love doesn’t change things, when you are stuck in a cycle of trying, hoping, failing. It makes your voice feel small, your body heavy, your thoughts repetitive. It’s grief without death, and suffocation without ropes.
But anger? Anger is movement. It is the body’s last-ditch attempt to resist submission. It says, “I will not die quietly.” When the crying doesn’t help, when the waiting runs out, when the patience wears thin — something inside you snaps. A survival mechanism kicks in. You stop begging. You start resenting.” This resonates with me so much!❤️
‘Grief without death’, ‘suffocation without ropes’. Such potent phrases! Really, you have a way with words. Seldom do I read both good content and good writing—actual writing talent. A joy to read.
That means so much, truly. I care deeply about both what I’m trying to say and how it’s said, so your words hit home. Thank you for seeing both the content and the craft. It’s a joy to be read by someone who notices the writing too. 🖤
“Often, it’s protecting a version of you who once felt invisible.” 200% agree I used to see anger as my foe but slowly realized anger is the overprotective best friend that speaks out when you are too scared to say anything. Seeing anger as a positive thing to speak on what’s going on under the surface has been a wonderful perspective change for me.
I love the way you framed that anger as an overprotective best friend. That image really lands. It’s so true that anger often steps in when our softer feelings feel too risky to express. Learning to see it not as the enemy but as a messenger has been a huge shift for me too. It’s wild how much tenderness can sit beneath it once we actually listen.
Yesss I feel this so deeply! I was afraid of my anger for so long before I realized that it only wanted to protect me.
Exactly this.
“Perhaps that’s the most human part of all this: that our strongest feelings — rage, bitterness, spite — are often rooted in our deepest needs. The need to feel heard. To feel safe. To feel seen.”
This is SO, so true! It took me many, many years to realise the true source of my angry outbursts (often toxic) during adulthood was actually the grief I carried from a very traumatic childhood.
This article really resonated with me, thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing this. Grief has such a sneaky way of disguising itself as rage, especially when it’s been buried for years. I’m really moved that the piece resonated with you. Sending you a big hug as you keep doing the hard, healing work. 💛
Thank you for the warm response Anna. I feel seen 🥰
Thank you! That’s exactly how I feel lately…
“Helplessness is the sensation of being trapped in a situation you cannot control. It’s that sickening powerlessness you feel when you’ve said everything and been ignored, when your efforts go unrewarded, when love doesn’t change things, when you are stuck in a cycle of trying, hoping, failing. It makes your voice feel small, your body heavy, your thoughts repetitive. It’s grief without death, and suffocation without ropes.
But anger? Anger is movement. It is the body’s last-ditch attempt to resist submission. It says, “I will not die quietly.” When the crying doesn’t help, when the waiting runs out, when the patience wears thin — something inside you snaps. A survival mechanism kicks in. You stop begging. You start resenting.” This resonates with me so much!❤️
I’m so glad it resonated with you, thank you for reading ❤️
‘Grief without death’, ‘suffocation without ropes’. Such potent phrases! Really, you have a way with words. Seldom do I read both good content and good writing—actual writing talent. A joy to read.
That means so much, truly. I care deeply about both what I’m trying to say and how it’s said, so your words hit home. Thank you for seeing both the content and the craft. It’s a joy to be read by someone who notices the writing too. 🖤